[ woody allen Quotes ]

Showing search results for Woody Allen Quotes - 26 quotations by Woody Allen - Dictionary Quotes

26 quotes (Page 1 of 2 pages)

A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Sex
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 958 votes

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
Maturity
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 986 votes

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Success
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 924 votes

I am at two with nature.
Nature
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 907 votes

I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 1034 votes

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Immortality
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 897 votes

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Comedy and Comedians
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 896 votes

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Love
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 982 votes

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
Food and Eating
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 874 votes

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Club
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 1059 votes

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 973 votes

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Intelligence and Intellectuals
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 1018 votes

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Movies
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 958 votes

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Skepticism
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 989 votes

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Risk
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 826 votes

It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
Possibilities
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 933 votes

Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Life and Living
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 941 votes

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Body
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 977 votes

Marriage is the death of hope.
Marriage
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 886 votes

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 1081 votes

My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
Regret
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 928 votes

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 1033 votes

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Love
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 886 votes

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Sex
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 955 votes

The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
Marriage
Woody Allen

Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote  | 909 votes

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun