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6169 quotes

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Jokes and Jokers
Groucho Marx

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Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Poverty and The Poor
Groucho Marx

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No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
Time and Time Management
Groucho Marx

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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Leaders and Leadership
Groucho Marx

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Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
People
Groucho Marx

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Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
Sex
Groucho Marx

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Landlords, like all other men, love to reap where they never sowed.
Landlords
Karl Marx

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Medicine heals doubts as well as diseases.
Medicine
Karl Marx

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Necessity is blind until it becomes conscious. Freedom is the consciousness of necessity.
Necessity
Karl Marx

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The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.
Pain
Karl Marx

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The theory of the Communists may be summed up in the single sentence: Abolition of private property.
Communism and Socialism
Karl Marx

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While the miser is merely a capitalist gone mad, the capitalist is a rational miser.
Misers and Misery
Karl Marx

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No one provokes me with impunity.
Punishment
Mary Queen Of Scots

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If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
Perspective
Abraham H. Maslow

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The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.
Mind
Abraham H. Maslow

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To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.
Adaptability
Abraham H. Maslow

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Marriage
Jackie Mason

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I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Money
Jackie Mason

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Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people.
Advice
Thomas L. Masson

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There are seventy million books in American libraries, but the one you want is always out.
Libraries
Thomas L. Masson

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Evil is something you recognize immediately you see it: it works through charm.
Evil
Brian Masters

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My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me six months more.
Doctors
Walter Matthau

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How could I have been anyone other than me?
Self-understanding
Dave Matthews

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I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.
Resignation
W. Somerset Maugham

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I would sooner read a timetable or a catalog than nothing at all.
Books - Reading
W. Somerset Maugham

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun